“It’s a mutual experience / we’re not supposed to tell / and don’t act like you have felt / what it means to be a girl” - EMELINE 

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“Boys will be boys” - ignorant people

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Gender. One of the first lessons that our children are taught about how our world works. It is thrust upon infants as soon as they exit the womb, starting from when they are placed in a pink or blue blanket. Each of these blankets represents a set of characteristics that are meant to be performed to fit into the strict binary we call “man” and “woman”. A “woman” is supposed to be soft yet toned, small, submissive, smart but never smarter than a “man”, extremely emotional, weak, modest yet not a prude, want sex but not be a “slut”, have long hair, adhere to the ever-changing beauty standard, love the colors pink and purple, wear dresses, and want to bear children (and look good while doing it). A “man” is supposed to be tall, muscular and strong, hairy, have a large penis, be extremely intelligent (without trying), be successful, be the breadwinner, act extremely masculine with their behavior (no high-pitched voice or “sissy walk”), want to have sex always and not be able to control himself, not like or wear bright colors, and he never is allowed to express any emotion other than happiness and anger. 

“If you break down gender you can see… how it truly is the backbone of almost every system of oppression”

If we take a step back from these archetypes of what a man or woman is “supposed” to be, we see how incredibly fragile these ideals are and how inherently unattainable. We’re built to feel that we are falling short, and therefore try to compensate in other ways. These ideas of gender are things we are taught, not things that are just intrinsically true. We are taught how to speak and “act like a man” or “like a lady” - we don’t just come out of the womb naturally acting and speaking these ways. If you break down gender, you can begin to see just how insidious it is in all parts of life, and how it truly is the backbone of almost every system of oppression used to provide privilege to some and push violence on most. 

“It’s so incredibly restrictive and damaging to expect humans to fall in line like we aren’t complex beings with complex souls” 

Human beings are fluid creatures. Our likes and dislikes change constantly, and we are always learning and developing. We aren’t the same person as last year, and we won’t be the same next year. We buy new clothes and give away our old ones, we reinvent ourselves, and we find joy in our individuality and how incredibly special it is to be one of a kind. Yet, each half of the population is meant to fit neatly into two boxes of expression and behavior. It’s so incredibly restrictive and damaging to expect humans to fall in line like we aren’t complex beings with complex souls. Some of us just don’t. Some of us were placed in the wrong body, and are fighting to become one with our minds and physical expression. It’s scary enough to realize that everything you were taught about how to act and look and speak is undeniably wrong for your heart and soul, but add on the threat of violence and judgment for living freely and it’s downright terrifying. Some of us don’t want to feel oppressed by rigid rules created to control and hurt. We want to live freely and fluidly like we were meant to. 

“…knowing that it is a broken system… you can begin to parse out the ideas that were flung onto you when you were born  and what is authentically YOU”

We are all just trying to live as our authentic selves, we each want peace and harmony within our mind and body. It’s disheartening when you realize that a lot of the compulsions you have to behave a certain way are socially conditioned. But knowing that it is a broken system, a fragile set of rules, you can begin to parse out the ideas that were flung onto you when you were born and what is authentically YOU. 

“Be kind and understand that what makes the world beautiful is how different we all are”

It is not your business what genitalia someone has, it is not your business to dictate where someone should use the bathroom (it’s a glorified shit hole pal, let people relieve themselves), it is not your business how or why someone dresses and acts the way that they do. And no you do not need to “figure out” if that person walking down the street is a “man” or “woman”. They are a human. With a heart and a soul. Just like you. You owe the same respect for others that you expect for yourself. So maybe think twice before assuming the title someone would like to use -  you wouldn’t just come up with a random name for someone if you didn’t know it. Ask about pronouns, state yours, and just try to understand the difference between society and you. Be kind and understand that what makes the world beautiful is how different we all are. 

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Not just pink and blue.

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