I remember hearing people whispering about it in the hallways. Clusters of kids trading the latest gossip and feasting upon it like hyenas who just made a kill. We used to be friends, her and I. I had gone to her house a couple of times, we were friendly with each other. We hadn’t hung out or spoken in a while when it had happened. Not due to a falling out between us, but just time and natural separation due to our different friend groups.

“We were kids then… the awkwardness of our bodies rapidly changing made existing feel embarrassing”

When everyone heard, boys were running to and from each other trying to see who had it on their flip phone. We were kids then. Some of us barely going through puberty, the awkwardness of our bodies rapidly changing made existing feel embarrassing. I saw her being escorted to the principal's office, her parents on each side of her. They looked violently uncomfortable while she was sobbing and attempting to look stoic in front of the crowds of tweens watching her, knowing that they had already seen it.

“She wasn’t seen as a victim, but a contributor to her own fate”

Gossip spread like wildfire. Damage control was next to impossible in a place like that. It wasn’t her narrative to have control over, but the boy who betrayed her. He was a god among men. I always felt bad for her. It was then that everyone would label her a certain way for as long as they would know her. Girls would look at her with distaste and boys would look at her with hunger. She wasn’t seen as a victim,  but a contributor to her own fate. Who would trade nudes anyways? Didn’t you always know that no tween boy could be trusted with the vulnerability of a photo of your naked body? How disturbing to blame someone who felt comfortable enough with their boyfriend to share something I’m sure HE was hounding her for. She trusted him. He showed her how much she meant to him by uploading it to a porn website, and spreading it across our middle school. He was quite literally distributing child pornography and somehow she was seen as the villain. She was seen as a slut, easy, it was clear her reputation was smeared with the rape culture we were living in.

“We’re all just human beings, why don’t we start treating each other like ones?”

Unfortunately this situation is not rare. It’s painfully common for many people who share images of their bodies with their partners. Nudes are swapped like trading cards. It’s normalized to sexualize women’s bodies as soon as they begin changing. Why do we have to learn to keep our legs crossed, dress modestly if we don’t want creepy attention, do what the man wants or we are seen as un fun or a prude? This patriarchal heteronormativity is damaging for everyone. It teaches boys that they have to be ultra masculine in order to be successful and seen as respectable. It teaches women that they are and forever will be objects. We’re all just human beings, why don’t we start treating each other like ones?